On a recent visit to Chennai, which has been fighting a good fight against storms and rains in the past week, Superman was witnessed showing signs of weaknesses battling the tough weather of the city. This has boggled both common people and experts, who have begun debating and doubting the credibility of Superman being the supreme protector of the world. This also necessitates the addition of “storm-riddled Chennai” to the relatively short list of weaknesses that Superman has, which includes bad CGI in films featuring him and over-hyping by fans, who will usually settle for a pooch with a big curvy ‘S’ drawn on it.
Reliable sources have confirmed that Superman was struggling to wade through the waters that had gathered in the Northern part of the city. Another source has claimed that Superman was being chased by a pack of wild dogs led astray because of the winds. In another unforeseen instance, Superman was beaten to a pulp by angry Thalaivar fans, for messing with a 100 feet cutout of the Superstar.
This reporter tried to reach Superman through different media for a direct interview to understand the reason behind his deteriorating powers. Phone calls, emails, letters, kidnapping Martha – nothing worked. No one knows where he is taking shelter or what scheme he’s plotting to fall right back into traps from which he can’t get out of. But there have been reports of a burly white guy striding around town, who shares a close resemblance to Superman. The talks of him being Superman were shut down immediately because, well, Superman doesn’t wear glasses. And this guy does. Yeah, no misconception there – he’s definitely not our man.
Meanwhile, in another part of the city, Lex Luthor was seen in an extremely joyous mood revelling in a party for his party members. In the wake of the discovery of this new weakness, Lex Luthor believes this will give him an additional edge in his battle against the demigod. Lex Luthor was at his wits’ end in his quest to destroy Superman, as was evident by his random temper tantrums thrown around in Parliament sessions- that was, until this development came to light. Now, he plans to invoke mass hysteria with storms and floods in the city, to get Superman’s attention. This has drawn the wrath of the members of the opposition party.
Will Superman brave the odds he’s facing right now, and get back in shape, to kick some gluteus maximus? It remains to be seen. But for all we know, it could not be the floods and the storms that may break his bones in his current state. It could very well just be good old rotten tomatoes.
– Yuvan Subramani